♥HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR FAVORITE HOMICIDAL JASHINIST!!!♥

And what better way to celebrate a birthday than writing a fic?!? This idea popped into my head last night and I wrote it as fast as I could. Constructive criticism is welcome, there's probably something I messed up when writing this thing, but I wanted to finish it before Hidan's birthday was up. >.>;;;

Anyways, enough rambling, onto the fic! And pardon my utter fail at a creative title.

Title: Birthday Surprise
Fandom: Naruto
Characters/Pairings: Hidan, Kakuzu, slight KakuHida
Rating: T+/M-ish for Hidan's mouth and brief moment of violence.
Disclaimer: Naruto does not belong to me; it belongs to Kishimoto


Birthday Surprise

Hidan glared at the mysterious piece of pastry in front of him on the table. “What the fuck is that?” He whined, pointing down at the curious food item.

Kakuzu cocked an eyebrow. “What do you think it is?”

“I know it’s a fucking cake asshole, but why the hell did you buy it? You never buy shit like this ever, seriously.”

“You can’t be telling me you’re so forgetful you’d forget your own birthday.”

Hidan blinked a few times, exchanging bewildered glances between the frosty white cake on the table and his Akatsuki partner standing over on the other side of it. “You…you bought me a fucking cake?!” was all the Jashinist could coherently muster.

Kakuzu snorted, removing a kunai from the sleeve of his cloak. “So are you going to keep gawking at the cake like that or are you going to eat it?”

The gray-haired immortal shook his head and laughed. “Fuck man, who’d ever think a stuck up heathen like you would buy me a cake of all things. It’s fucking priceless!”

“If you want to eat metal instead of cake I would gladly arrange that for you,” Kakuzu warned as he made his first cut in the round dessert. His partner laughed off the threat.

“You know, you can be a nice guy when you want to be.”

“You’ll be eating nothing but vegetables for the next three months if you keep talking like that.”

“Oh come on, you know it’s true! You just won’t fucking admit it.”

In the blink of an eye Kakuzu was holding the kunai at Hidan’s throat. “Hidan.” He hissed, “If today wasn’t your birthday I would have ripped open your jugular. Keep it up and I won’t hesitate at the opportunity to break you.”

With laughter in his eyes the former Yuugakure nin smirked, lowering his hand to the blade of the weapon and sliding a finger along its edge, drawing blood in the process. Without a drop of fear pulsing through him he lifted his blood-covered finger to his mouth and playfully licked off both the blood and frosting that had formerly been present on the weapon.

“I’d take that threat seriously, but there’s fucking icing on your kunai.”

Kakuzu snarled and crushed the blade up against Hidan’s windpipe and held it there for a few long moments. He stared deep into Hidan’s peculiar violet eyes, seeing the mirth that danced behind them. The Jashinist equally could see his partner’s bottled rage that was bubbling beneath the surface. After what felt like an eternity to Kakuzu but only a brief second to Hidan, the former Waterfall nin bluntly removed his weapon from his partner’s neck and calmly walked back over to his side of the table. Kakuzu resumed cutting the cake as if nothing had happened.

Hidan numbly recoiled from their encounter. With a blank expression on his face, he calmly slid himself onto a chair and waited silently for his green-eyed partner to finish cutting the pastry. Less than five minutes later Kakuzu grabbed two plates and served himself and Hidan their slices of cake. An awkward moment of silence followed as Kakuzu handed Hidan his birthday surprise and sat down at the table.

“Happy Birthday Hidan….” He muttered.

The Jashinist smirked, cutting himself a slice of cake before ravenously taking the first bite. He smiled as he enjoyed the sweet taste of the pie before chewing and swallowing. As he took his second bite he glanced over at Kakuzu who had also begun eating.

Still chewing, Hidan looked up and grinned madly. “I still think you can be nice when you want to be.”

～おわり～